Jessica Fulk’s Late Night Thoughts: Joe Burrow’s House is Crazy, But KC’s Still Got It From NFL Millions to “Seriously, Where is Joe Burrows House Again?”: My Unfiltered Opinion
Alright, folks. It’s Jessica Fulk here, and we need to talk about this Joe Burrow house situation.
NFL Money is a Whole Other Ballgame
So, this guy drops $7.5 million on a house. A HOUSE. 7,300 square feet? What’s he doing, hosting the entire Bengals team for sleepovers? I’ve sold some fancy places, but sheesh. This is next level. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s impressive. But you know what’s also impressive? Kansas City luxury homes. Yeah, that’s right. We’ve got some serious gems right here in KC that could give Burrow’s place a run for its money. And probably for less money, too.
KC’s Got Game Too, You Know
Speaking of fancy, let’s talk about gated communities in Leawood KS. Fancy schmancy, but without the Ohio zip code. No offense, Ohio. Actually, maybe a little offense. We’ve got better BBQ. And here’s the thing – it’s not just about the house. It’s about what’s around it. Like, what’s Burrow gonna do in his free time? Meanwhile, in KC, we’ve got tons of things to do in Parkville MO. Bet Burrow doesn’t have a Parkville nearby. His loss.
Money Talks, But Sometimes It Says Dumb Things
Oh, and while we’re on the topic of money and bad decisions, did you hear about that Franklin Ray Michigan guy? Yikes. Makes me feel better about that time I bought a house with avocado green appliances. At least it wasn’t a $40 million scam, right?
The Jessica Fulk Bottom Line
Look, here’s the deal. Joe Burrow’s house is cool and all, but KC’s got it going on too. We’ve got amazing houses, great neighborhoods, and you don’t need an NFL contract to afford them. Most of them, anyway. So if you’re looking for a luxury home that won’t require you to take up a career in professional football, give me a call. I promise I won’t make you run laps or anything. Unless you want to. I don’t judge. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go figure out how many of my listings I’d need to sell to afford Burrow’s house. Spoiler alert: it’s a lot. Maybe I should learn to throw a football instead…
